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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23076571">We Used to Bleed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/pseuds/watchcatewrite'>watchcatewrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pretty Sounds [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twenty One Pilots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Trench Era</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:26:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23076571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/pseuds/watchcatewrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler knows the second her feet leave the piano that it’s wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pretty Sounds [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Used to Bleed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tyler knows the second her feet leave the piano that it’s wrong. She’s miscalculated somehow, made some unknown fatal error, despite having done this so many times before. And there’s a moment, in the air, where she has time to feel incredulous about the whole thing.</p><p>Tyler’s always prided herself on putting her whole focus into their shows, knowing that the second she starts to feel asleep at the wheel is the second she has to stop and reevaluate what she’s doing. Still, there’s a part of her that feels like the show is muscle memory at this point, like her undivided attention is extraneous. What was that saying her mom had taught her about assuming?</p><p>To “assume” makes an ass out of you and me.</p><p>She manages to catch herself pretty well, all things considered. It’s better than the time she went ass over tea kettle during Holding on to You, or when she dropped a little too hard during Heavy Dirty Soul and blacked out for a few seconds. It’s not pain free, however, and while her right knee doesn’t slam into the stage like she’s expecting, the botched impact still leaves her reeling.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye Tyler can just barely see Jos wince, before she’s rolling into a recovery and continuing on. Already there’s a dull ache in her knee that sharpens into focus every time she moves, but it’s nothing in comparison to the shame that burns its way across her cheeks, so hot that Tyler worries everyone can see it. </p><p>- - - </p><p>“Goddamnit!”</p><p>There’s nothing in her hands to throw, nothing near enough to grab, and she can feel the anger in her chest growing. The feeling burns through her veins and across her skin, until settling in her knee, which now throbbed in time with her heart. It had grown more and more painful as the show went on, Tyler refusing to edit her movements or slow things down. The crowd wouldn’t suffer for her mistake.</p><p>Jos is on her heels, close enough to see her stagger toward the couch, aiming a kick for the base. “Ty, stop. You’ll just—“</p><p>But it’s too late, the younger girl’s already let loose, toes connecting with the furniture. Her boots are mostly for show, not heavy like the Docs Jos used to wear on stage, and Tyler lets out a moan of pain.</p><p>“Fuck! Goddamnit.”</p><p>“Tyler, stop. Sit down please.” Jos is reaching out towards her, but she’s not ready for that.</p><p>“No, I don’t want to sit down. Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”</p><p>“Then stop acting like one!” Jos’ voice is loud in the small room, and it stops Tyler in her tracks. The older girl rarely yells, it’s always Tyler who doesn’t seem to know how to reign in her frustration sometimes, and when she does Tyler knows she’s truly angry.</p><p>She can’t blame her. Tyler’s fucked up the show, and embarrassed the both of them for what feels like the hundredth time. She jokes about being the lead singer, and the attention it affords her, but sometimes it’s just a spotlight, highlighting all of her faults. Jos deserves better from her.</p><p>“Now would you sit down please, and let me see your knee?”</p><p>Tyler meekly obeys, settling onto the non-descript couch and sliding her pants down to her ankles. Jos kneels in between her legs, and Tyler wants to make a joke about how this position usually ends, but she’s still too angry, too ashamed. The older girl doesn’t look at her, just reaches out slowly until warm fingers connect with sensitive skin.</p><p>She can’t help the hiss that escapes her lips, and Tyler finally forces herself to look down. What used to be a normal looking knee is now the size of a tennis ball, red and already on its way to purple. Jos’ fingers probe at it gently and Tyler grips the couch cushions until her knuckles go white, trying to keep herself from smacking the drummer’s hand away. Still, she can’t help grimacing, and when Jos notices she removes her hand quickly.</p><p>“Shit Ty, I gotta go get the medic.”</p><p>“No, wait, just… just give me a minute.” Tyler’s voice comes out through clenched teeth.</p><p>“You need the medic, Ty, that’s—“</p><p>“I said just give me a minute!” Tyler can feel tears at the corners of her eyes and she hates herself for it.</p><p>“Tyler.” Jos’ voice is soft now, and Tyler feels a warm hand on her cheek, pulling her down until she faces the other girl. “You’re crying. Please let me get the medic.”</p><p>“I’m not crying because it hurts. I’m crying because I—“ But she can’t say it, can’t admit she’s fucked up. Ten years she’s been doing this, and still it’s not perfect. It’s never perfect.</p><p>“Because you messed up?”</p><p>Tyler’s eyes suddenly fill with tears, and she can only look at the older girl in misery. “That’s not fair, you’re not allowed to just know like that. I’m trying to be angry and you—“</p><p>“Know you?” Jos interrupts, a soft smile on her lips. “Yeah, I do know you, Tyler Joseph, and I know you’re pissed right now, but you need to let someone see your knee.”</p><p>Tyler leans into the hand on her cheek, covering it with her own. “I know. Just give me a second, okay? I just need a second to breathe.”</p><p>Jos nods, rising to her feet before settling down on the couch next to the younger girl. Her arm lifts without a second thought, and Tyler settles under it, her head on the other girl’s shoulder. The skin there is slightly damp, and smells sweetly of sweat, but Tyler doesn’t care. </p><p>“It was a good show, you know.”</p><p>Tyler scoffs before answering. “Besides my fuck up, you mean.”</p><p>Jos lets out a sigh. “You’re too hard on yourself, Ty. No one cares if you make mistakes; it just reminds them all that you’re human. We all fuck up, that’s why they love you like they do.”</p><p>“But they deserve better.” Tyler leans away from the other girl, feeling that familiar weight across her shoulder slip away. “They deserve the best of me, Jos. They deserve everything I have and when I mess up? I’m not just letting me down, or you down, I’m letting them down too.”</p><p>“Tyler.” Jos’ warm hand covers her own, and Tyler glances down at the long, familiar fingers. “Tyler, look at me.”</p><p>Jos gives her hand a soft squeeze, as soon as their eyes meet. “You have never, ever, let me down. Not tonight, not when you fell on your ass a couple years ago, not even when you fell off your platform during that festival one time.”</p><p>Tyler blushes, a laugh on her lips, and Jos’ other hand comes up to rest softly against her cheek. “Every time you get on that stage I’m proud of you. And I can guarantee you that every single person in the venue tonight felt the same way.”</p><p>“But you were mad, you yelled at me a second ago—“</p><p>“Yeah, because you were hurt, not because you messed up. Idiot.” Jos leans forward for a kiss, a smile on her lips, but Tyler leans back, laughing.</p><p>“You know, you call me that a lot; I’m not sure it’s a term of endearment.”</p><p>Jos grabs her by the chin this time, pulling her forward. “Believe me, when it comes to you, it is.”</p><p>Their lips finally meet, a laugh passing between them. Jos’ hands slide around Tyler’s neck, pulling her in closer, and Tyler scrambles for purchase on the other girl’s warm, freckled skin. Jos is laughing again and Tyler surges forward to kiss her once more, before her knee erupts in pain. The kiss breaks instantaneously, Tyler’s face awash with agony.</p><p>“Shit. Fuck.” Her hands rest on the older girl’s chest, and Jos’ hand wraps around her wrist.</p><p>“You okay, Ty? I totally forgot that—“</p><p>“I was in blinding pain? Same.” Tyler pulls back, leaning against the back of the couch and taking in a view of her knee again. The flesh somehow seems larger and redder than before, and Tyler turns her head to face the other girl, exasperated. “Maybe you should get me the medic." </p><p>Jos laughs quietly. “Wow, what a great idea. Wish I’d thought of that.”</p><p>“Would you shut up and go?” Tyler tries to look angry, but it melts off her face just as quickly, replaced with a small smile.</p><p>Jos leans forward, placing a kiss on her forehead before whispering. “I’ll be right back, rock star.”</p><p>Tyler watches her go, her body aching, but her heart light.</p>
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